


Paging Doctor Sanders

by Inkribbon796



Series: Masks and Maladies [120]
Category: Jacksepticeye Power Hour (Web Series), Markiplier TV (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Emile does his best, M/M, Magic, Therapy, mention of past abusive medical procedures, superhero au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:02:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28912020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkribbon796/pseuds/Inkribbon796
Summary: Wilford’s just having a normal day, well as normal as he can have, when reality decides it’s time to visit the doctor’s again.
Relationships: Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, darkstache
Series: Masks and Maladies [120]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538131
Comments: 19
Kudos: 17





	Paging Doctor Sanders

Quite simply, Wilford was having the time of his life.

He so rarely got to play his fun games. Dark was so dead set on not including the children, which Wilford thought was woefully unfair. They were missing out. But Dark was firm in that and Wilford didn’t want to push the matter too hard.

But today he was taking Bim and Yan out for some fun. Illinois and the other boys were elsewhere. Heaven and Hell only knew where, but he hoped they were having as much fun as he was.

He drove down the highway in a car, he’d forgotten exactly where he had procured the vehicle from, but that was of little consequence to him.

Bim was clutching onto the car door hanger for dear life, Yan was laughing in the back seat as Wil sped them away from the cops.

It was moments like these that Wil would look at Bim and he would do or say things that reminded Wil so dearly, and Yan would act like . . . what was her name again? Nevermind it wasn’t that important, he should be focusing on the road.

But in that moment he felt like an aura had pinned him in place and suddenly Wilford was sitting in some lobby with Bim on one side and Yan on the other.

Normally Wilford would look around in confusion for a bit before shrugging. These things just happened to him. The game was a cruel mistress and she refused to let him go. But Bim and Yan looked so confused and Dark would be so angry if they played in the game.

“Well kids, time to go home,” Wilford chuckled and slapped their backs and suddenly they were outside of a giant red smoke dome, flecks of gold and white circling around. Along with Roman the two also saw Silver and several other heroes around the dome. Right next to the dome was an absolutely totaled car that the three of them had been in before being picked from it.

About three heroes turned and looked at Bim and Yan in surprise.

“I got this,” Bim called out and stretched out his hand, trying to summon a portal, if for no other reason than to cause chaos for them to either get away or figure out what was going on.

But he couldn’t even feel the Void, which seemed impossible. It’d been a while since he’d tried to tap into it, but that type of feeling was hard to miss.

“What are you doing?” Yan looked confused and worried.

“I’m,” Bim started before immediately going for his star, clutching it in a death grip before Marvin threw a spell that knocked both Yan and Bim back.

“I don’t think so, Hannibal Lector,” Marvin snapped. “Just fookin’ come quietly.”

Before could respond or try to summon his aura again, Dark was standing behind Bim and Yan and wrapping them protectively in his aura, trying to reach out to stab Marvin in the face but the hero was barely out of range. In another instant Bim and Yan were shoved through one of his portals and into his main warehouse office.

Now that two of his children were safe, Dark could focus on something other than blind protectiveness. He looked around, a guarded expression on his face.

“What is going on here?” Dark demanded, keeping his distance from the dome. He looked around, sensing Wilford’s aura all over the place. “Is Wil in there?”

“Yer boyfriend’s under arrest,” Marvin reminded.

“Oh,” Dark nodded, motioning to the dome. “So this display is yours then. Looks like a complex spell.”

Almost as if on cue, Roman was blown back as the deep reds were taken over by a swirling pink and the dome seemed to be oozing out to reach something, or more likely someone.

“To be expected,” Dark gave Roman and Marvin a smug smile. “Even I have a hard time keeping Wil’s aura in place.”

As Dark was busy being smug, Wil’s aura grabbed him and dragged him into the dome rather unceremoniously.

The heroes all stared at where Dark had been.

“Wow, that worked exactly like how Host said it would,” Silver commented. “That’s almost scary how easy it was.”

“I doubt we’ll be able to do this twice,” Marvin frowned pessimistically.

“I’ll keep the enchantment going so the big guy’s got room to work,” Roman promised.

And with that the heroes set up a perimeter around the area.

Inside the dome, Wil had moved to sitting on a couch. He couldn’t remember what he’d been doing before this.

Had it been important? Wil hoped not. He tended to forget important things like . . .

Well he just did it again.

“Howdy!”

Wil turned to see a man with rounded glasses and a tan vest. “Hello Doctor.”

“Well Mr. Warfstache,” Emile said with a huge smile. “My name’s Doctor Emile Picani.”

“Hello Doctor, have we met?” Wil asked. He wasn’t violent yet and Emile wanted to keep things that way.

“Not in person, this is our first meeting,” Emile smiled.

“I don’t think I like the electrocution,” Wil asked. “Can we skip it this time around?”

“Oh no,” Emile gasped, “we won’t do anything like that. This is therapy, not any kind of torture.”

“I tasted blood last time,” Wil told him, his tone a touch chipper to be comfortable.

“That’s awful,” Emile reminded.

“The nurses were attractive, particularly the big muscly one they called Orderly,” Wil chuckled.

“Wait,” Emile asked. “Were they an orderly or was that their name?”

“He would look me in the eyes, force me against the wall and tell me to go back to my room,” Wil sighed, lying down on the couch and knitting his hands on his chest. “He was a dream.”

_“Great Copernicus’s beam compass,”_ Logan groaned internally in Emile’s shared mind space. _“He was flirting with a staff member at a mental hospital.”_

_“Ohhhh,”_ Emile and Patton thought at the same time.

“I will have you know I have never been sick a day in my life,” Wil told them.

_“Highly deb—”_ Logan began before the two Sides and their fusion felt a spike of alarm.

_“Can you hear me?”_ Logan asked.

“Of course, you’re talking to me,” Wil answered as if Logan had asked him if a dove was a bird.

“So Mr. Warfstache,” Emile cut in, trying to protect the Sides that made up his being.

“William,” Wil corrected nonchalantly.

“W-William?” Emile repeated, Logan’s surprise coming through a bit stronger.

“Never did like it,” Wil mused. “It was my father’s you see, and he was always insistent I have it too.”

“Your father was named William too?” Emile asked, noticing that the usual lilt in the madman’s voice was softer than he or his components had ever heard it before.

“Oh yes, bit of a family tradition, my father, his father before that,” Wil listed. “However if I ever have children, I’m not naming any of them William. I’m taking it to my grave.”

Emile smiled as Wil kept talking, finding that he didn’t need to do anything to have the man spilling his most private thoughts.

“I just wish there was a way to, you know, ask them before those tight wads at the hospital make you give them one,” Wil ranted. “Nothing worse than being stuck with a name you hate, am I right?”

“Why not just change your name afterwards?” Emile asked.

And suddenly Wil looked like he’d been struck by an amazing realization, he turned to look at Emile, “By joe, I think you’re the most intelligent soul in the world. That boyfriend of yours sure is lucky that you’re as smart as you are good looking.”

“Uhhh,” Emile stalled.

“The chap with the shades?” Wil clarified before waving his hand, “we met on the train to— nevermind, probably hasn’t happened yet.”

“As your doctor I have to ask you to stop flirting with me,” Emile warned as politely as he could manage. “And I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Oh don’t worry about that,” Wil promised. “He’s a real catch that lad, you’ll do fine.”

“Can you see the future?” Emile asked, it made sense, the Host could to an extent after all.

“No, I merely know how to play the game?” Wil chuckled.

“What game?” Emile asked, and the instant he asked that he felt something like an invisible abyss staring at him.

Wil’s smile became almost shark-like. There was a manic, twisted gleam in his eye. “Well life’s a game, old chap. Some people know the rules, others don’t.”

“What rules are those?” Emile asked.

Wil shrugged, “I don’t know, the rules never made sense to me.”

Then, whether saving him or not, there was a knock at the door and Dark stepped into the room. Which worried Emile, he hadn’t felt any warning that something had stepped so close to his space.

Dark looked surprised to see Emile but recovered quickly enough. “Well, I’ve seen you from afar but we’ve never had the chance to meet. You look like Logan.”

“Well,” Emile evaded. “I’m not Logan.”

“But the similarity is quite,” Dark paused, clearly looking for the right word, “uncanny. Maybe a family resemblance somehow?”

“Maybe,” Emile told him.

“Hmmm,” Dark hummed. “You wouldn’t happen to know a _Thomas Sanders_ would you?”

Logan and Patton almost fell apart right there but Emile was able to help hold them together.

“Nope, no,” Emile cleared his throat. “Personally, no. Professionally, no.”

A slight smile appeared on Dark’s face, “Right, must be my mistake then. I’ll be taking Wil and we’ll be leaving.”

“Do I know you?” Wilford looked over at Dark, he’d been staring at Dark while they had been talking. There was a steely, dark look in his eyes. “You look familiar.”

Dark stiffened like a corpse, standing still as Wilford looked at him. but he recovered quickly enough, snapping his fingers and the grey pallor that usually covered _her_ body’s skin abated and instantly Wilford seemed enraptured by Dark as she stood over him.

“You caught me Wil,” Dark smiled as Wil smiled.

“Oh my dear, do not scare me like that,” Wilford chuckled, reaching up to cup the side of her face. “I’m not as young as I used to be.”

“Let’s go home,” Dark smiled at the madman, her tone careful and velvety soft as she ran her fingers through his hair.

“Did you hear, Darling?” Wil smiled in excitement. “I could change my name if I wanted to.”

The madman jumped up as Dark glared at Emile. “Gone will be that stuffy name I’m thinking . . . Winkleheimer.”

That actually got a laugh from Dark, “I see you’re returning to the nineties again.”

“ _Hmmm,_ you’re right,” Wil thought seriously. “It _is_ too gauche, it lacks the right pizzazz. I’ve got it! Wilford.”

He smiled expectantly at Dark.

“It sounds wonderful,” Dark told him.

“You think I can convince your brother to take the name Warfstache?” Wilford waggled his eyebrows. “I bet I could.”

“We’ll see,” Dark commented. “He can be a bit stubborn.”

“Too true,” Wilford chuckled, “but I once did convince him that squirrels are plotting for world domination. I can convince him of _a lot_ when he’s good and sloshed.”

“Anyways, we should go back,” Dark told him and Emile started weakening the room around them. The Entity opened a portal and let her boyfriend move through first before turning back to Emile, “if you ever do this to him again I will carve you into pieces.”

“Right,” Emile shrunk back a little bit and Dark was gone.

The room faded and Emile broke back apart into Logan and Patton, his strength gone.

“Are you two okay?” Roman raced over.

“Yeah, we’re fine,” Patton answered.

Logan however stayed conspicuously silent as he started texting Bing and quickly returned back to the base. He later spend hours, running back through the footage, narrowing in on where Bim’s little _“tracker”_ was, and then timing how long it took Dark to respond.

Five seconds.

The logical side frowned. That didn’t leave him much time. But if they could keep Bim from summoning Dark, then they could take all the time they needed.


End file.
